Dear Sir stroke Madam, I am writing to inform you of a fire which has broken out at the premises of... Hello? I've had a bit of a tumble. It's my term for my time of the month. Oh. What time of the month? The weekend? I don't see how they couldn't just keep it as it was. How hard is it to remember 911? No, no there you go, no there you go. I just heard it come on. Nicer ambulances, faster response times and better looking drivers mean they're not just the Emergency Services, they're your Emergency Services. I've got Aunt Irma visiting. Oh, do you not like Aunt Irma? I've got an aunt like that.

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