Let me introduce myself. I was born from an Italian father and a Dutch mother in Amsterdam. My mom wanted to live in Italy but I had an attack of nostalgia (I missed my grandmother, who took care of me when my father was away). As all children I went to school (though I would rather do my own things). Just to show people I could do what was asked I genly flew along. The same for the secondary school. In those days techers had no objection to me preparing for the final exams at home. The school (and me) aroused my interest in physics. As if it could answer profound questions of life. At the same time my interest in the arts developed, and I made oil paintings, some (in retrospect) very silly poëtry, short stories, and I liked taking pictures. Somehow I felt that physics couldn´t give the answers to many questions. Not even (or better said, especially not a TOE). It was a close Chinese friend of mine with whom I always walked home talking about all kinds of exotic physical stuff (in particular the physics of elementary particles and astronomy), who made me decide (though I think my interest would made me have done it anyhow), to study physics. The first year was fun. I made friends, and to be honest, for them I visited colleges. But the next year they all dropped out, and the fun was gone. A professor was standing in front of e few hundred man, and I thought to myself: I can do this better at home, with nice music and full concentration! So thought, so done. The last fear was an nice year. Subjects you could choose and small rooms with students and a professor (I can remember a old man, 81 years old, attending a college of wich a part was the impossibility of transmitting information faster than light, for wich I made copies of an article in Scientific American, but considering physics in the spring of his life!). Group theory and quantumfield theory I was allowed to do home. Later I realized I could have saved a lot of money if you are only making tentams, without visiting the colleges. Making my scriptions was also something I did without much contact with my supervising professor, but I liked the fact tehat i visited him on a day and saw on his desk the books I was using for helping me make my scription. Among those was his own book about reality (I can´t remember the name of the book, but the professors (he studied filosophy and physics, but that last studie wasn´nt his strongest move) name was Hans Radder. After my studie I decided to continue to learn more about physics, of wich everbody has some instinct, accumulated in uncountable unconscious experiments, on wich later the conscious experiments emerge. I started working in homecare, in my free time my mind was now and then occupied by all kinds af physics, but most interest got to elementary particles, and how they would look like. Currently I´m writing a book out of a enormous body of things I wrote in the past years.