Big brown spinning leather chair.
BY DAY: Being awesome. Teaching math and german to the children of snotty rich folks.
BY NIGHT: Founder of EmptyPotato Press, EmptyPotato, LLC. Furiously pounding out the manuscripts for "In Defense of Common Core" and "Modern Plato - Milton Friedman and the Attempt to Undermine Brown v. Board of Education".
PERSONAL: Past the half-century mark. Clothes shrinking rapidly, reasons unknown.