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VLOOKUP is bad and you should feel bad. INDEX+MATCH will destroy you.

Temporary leave of absence from all SE sites as it has become a drain on my professional productivity. Home life does not allow for such recreational access, either. If it proves to be effective, the leave may have to become permanent. This saddens me but there are more important things to which I must attend. (2015-03-16)

Update 2015-05-13: OK, that was a straight-up failure. Get thee behind me, StackExchange!

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