There is this guy driving down the road. He’s got 17 penguins in his car. This cop sees him, stops him, and says, “I don’t know what’s going on here. But you’ve got to take these penguins to the zoo.” The guy’s like, “OK.” The next day the guy is driving and he has the same 17 penguins in the car. The same cop pulls him over and says, “Look, man, I stopped you yesterday and I told you to take these penguins to the zoo.” The guy says, “I took them to the zoo. Today we’re going to the beach.”


A boy swallows a whole jar of coins, and is taken to a hospital. When the doctor came out to speak with the parents, he said, "No change yet."


Outside a dog a book is man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's hard to read.


A man needed major surgery. They removed all the organs on the left side of his body.

Now he is all right. :)


Q: Why did the farmer watch his lazy cows?

A: He liked to see the meat loaf.

Q: Why did the farmer feed sugar to his sick pig?

A: He wanted sugar-cured ham.


Q: How did Luke Skywalker know what Darth Vader gave him for Christmas?

A: He felt his presents.


Q: What did Geronimo say when he jumped from the plane?

A: Me!!!


Q: Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie?

A: He was too far out, man.


Q: Why did the mechanic sleep under his car?

A: Because he wanted to wake up oily in the morning.

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